


Pick Up Lines

by charmed4fiction



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 05:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6502312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmed4fiction/pseuds/charmed4fiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flirting with Flames</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick Up Lines

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it would be funny to see Edward flirting with Mustang and so we have this little fic. I've never used a pick up line in my entire life and I don't even know how I manage to come up with these ridiculous lines. (all mines) Hope you guys enjoy!

Edward walked out of the library, feet already familiar with the steps, and they guided him in the direction of the parade grounds. It was his lunch break, and he almost spent the full hour reading and took notes. His head hung low, he read through the notes he’d written on a set of index cards, smiling at his writings.

He gazed up briefly to one of the Sentries, flashing his watch before shuffling onwards. He planned to stop by the canteen and grab a sandwich, but that thought quickly vanished when he bumped into someone, causing him to drop all the index cards from his hands.

Ed scrambled quickly to the ground, grumbling obscenities as he tried to collect all the cards that fell. He did not even spare a glance to the other person of out of fear for what he’d written on the cards, but continued mumbling, “Stupid people should watch where they are walking.”

“I think you walked into me, Fullmetal,” said a familiar voice leaning over Edward. The person bent down to assist him and picked up the last card from the floor. He stood up and flipped over the card as he read the printed contents. “What is all this, Fullmetal?”

Edward's ears turned pink, and he wasn't sure if he was angry or embarrassed, but either way he didn’t want General Roy Mustang asking him questions. Well, not questions about the information on the card currently in his hand.

Edward furrowed his brows, sighed and stood up, he extended his hand and asked: “Do you mind?”

“I do actually.” The bastard smirked, before reciting the words on the card, “You are the missing piece to my array; My human transmutation would not be complete without you.” Mustang quirked his brow upwards amused and continued rattling on the remaining lines between a series of chuckles, “Whenever you’re around your flames set me ablaze; I'll be the oxygen molecules that keep your fires burning;  
I'll give you all my heat energy just to see you burn; You’re hotter than a C4 N2 Flame; You are so hot that you disconnect my auto-mail, “Edward, are these pickup lines? Oh, uhh, hmm, flames, burning and oxygen. Edward these are all—.”

“Don’t say it, bastard.” Edward huffed, and he stalked off just before snatching the card from Mustang’s hand.

“Fullmetal, hey, wait up,” Roy called out to him, but Edward didn’t respond. He picked up the pace. “Edward, wait up! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at first, but I think they are cute.”

Edward continued walking fuming inwardly. He tried to walk faster, but the bastard ridiculous long legs kept up with him.

“Are you angry? Would you please stop?” Roy called out again. He’d apparently catch up to Edward because he reached out and touched his shoulder.

In a knee-jerk reaction, Edward turned around abruptly, and Roy slammed into him. “I’m not angry, you idiot.”

In a curious tone, Roy asked softly, “So you’re not, but what were you planning to do with those?” His pointed to the cards that Edward was clutching in his hands, the man’s perfection gleaming and the fuck, his eyes dangerously and wickedly sweeping over Edward.

Edward simply stared at Mustang for a few seconds, flustered and embarrassed he answered, “I was going to use them to flirt with you, bastard.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” Roy asked. He winked at Ed before adding, “Care to test out, ‘You’re so hot that you disconnect my auto-mail’ because I’m sure flames melt metal and keep in mind that everything burns when I’m on fire.”

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe a follow up to this would be sweet. I think Mustang pulling Edward into a closet, that so happen to store fire extinguishers would be ideal and hit him with a bunch of metal type lines. HaHa.


End file.
